Coming into Focus

Friday afternoon my newest nephew finally graced us with his appearance. I might add that he is quite handsome, but some might say that's because I am biased. After all, I am his auntie. This post however is really more about an epiphany that occurred while I was patiently awaiting his arrival. It's such a powerful moment when you see an accumulation of events that have taken place come together in such a way that the picture couldn't be painted any clearer. Before I reveal my big "duh" moment, I want to share with you some of the events that preceded this.

It all started about 4 years ago. My job at the time was abruptly ended and I really didn't know what to do with the next chapter of my life at that point. There had never been a time when I wasn't gainfully employed since I've been old enough to hold a job. This break gave me some time to reflect on me as a person, and to learn who I am and what really drives me. I've always had a passion for photography and for scrapbooking and I began to see opportunities to grow relationships through those hobbies. After almost a year of trying to decide how I was going to proceed with my life, I finally decided to go back to school. I have always enjoyed learning and taking on a new challenge. I felt compelled to learn sign language and so that's what I decided to do. After studying for a year, it became necessary for me to return to work and disappointingly, I put my studies on hold. I was saddened because I felt like I had such potential at a career within the deaf community. My instructor once suggested that I work as an advocate for the deaf. At the point that I went back to work, I had finished half of my necessary classes to get my degree in American Sign Language. I currently hold a certificate of skills for my accomplishments.

The irony is that the same job that ended so quickly before, is right where I am back working today. Being employed in law enforcement has given me the opportunity to see people at their worst and at the same time see heroes at work responding positively to bad situations. Because I work overnight, I am able to participate in the kids school activities and local community events and that has made me think often of volunteering in some way to do advocacy work. I'm good at standing up for those that can fend for themselves. I've always felt like there would be a 'special' child in my life. Now here's the epiphany: I am suppose to adopt a special needs child! The picture is clearly in focus. The sign language is a bonus to assist in care and communication with such a child.

I know that there are people that would question me. I can already hear them, "Why a special needs child?" and "Do you think you are ready for something like this?" or "How do your children feel about this?" I realize this isn't a decision to be taken lightly and I know it's not a short process. I get the fact that it doesn't only affect me. I understand that it will change our lives forever and that there will be setbacks and disappointments, but on the other side of that I'm banking on that blessings that cannot be measured. When babies are born to birth parents, it's life changing, it is demanding, and sometimes disappointing, but always worth it!

I recall a conversation many years ago with my little boy asking for a brother to play with. Due to medical procedures our family hasn't been able to have more children since days after the birth of our youngest. I remember telling my son that if he wanted a brother that he would have to pray and ask God for a miracle, continuing to explain that God would have to find a special way to give our family another little boy. Well kid, you just might get what you've asked for!