WHERE DO YOU DUMP YOUR GARBAGE?

Sometimes life has a way of weighing you down...in one sense it is a good way to stay grounded. But for a person that likes to fly, that's like having a broken wing. I'm usually the person that can find the silver lining in any cloud, the one that doesn't mind the storm, because I know that when it blows over, everything will be refreshed on the other side.

Here lately though, it seems as if I've taken on the roll of a garbage truck. I'm drving around and without realizing it, I've lifted the trash from the lives of others and now the truck is full and I can't find my way to the landfill. I know that sooner or later I'm going to run out of gas and I don't want to be stuck holding this rubble. I don't want to dump it in some place that isn't built to accept it; I know that just creates a bigger mess in the long run. I guess I'm hoping that a rescue truck will come along and ease my load, either by filling my tank back up and providing me with directions, or by hauling me and my load to the landfill.

I guess I'm lacking direction right now. Perhaps I've been relying on the wrong map. Sometimes I feel like I'm reading the right map, but somehow I'm doing it all wrong. It's kind of like having a GPS and putting in the zip code incorrectly. Now I'm way off course, and I lack the resources to get back on track.

This is when I realize I can't do it on my own. I have to rely on someone else to assist me. I need someone else to help me find my way. It's hard for someone like me, so independent, to admit that I need help because it's beyond my control.

It's hard to become the needy one when you've only ever been the strong one. The one that does the jobs that no one else wants to, like picking up the trash in other peoples lives. I don't mean physical rubbish, but rather the worries and struggles and pain that they are suffering from. I have to allow someone to pick up my load and haul it away for me. Maybe it's not my job to carry it all the way to the landfill, but just to be there to get it out of the hands of those that can no longer carry it themselves.

Photo credit belongs to this site http://re3org.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-alabama-waste-disposal-adventure_11.html

Coming into Focus

Friday afternoon my newest nephew finally graced us with his appearance. I might add that he is quite handsome, but some might say that's because I am biased. After all, I am his auntie. This post however is really more about an epiphany that occurred while I was patiently awaiting his arrival. It's such a powerful moment when you see an accumulation of events that have taken place come together in such a way that the picture couldn't be painted any clearer. Before I reveal my big "duh" moment, I want to share with you some of the events that preceded this.

It all started about 4 years ago. My job at the time was abruptly ended and I really didn't know what to do with the next chapter of my life at that point. There had never been a time when I wasn't gainfully employed since I've been old enough to hold a job. This break gave me some time to reflect on me as a person, and to learn who I am and what really drives me. I've always had a passion for photography and for scrapbooking and I began to see opportunities to grow relationships through those hobbies. After almost a year of trying to decide how I was going to proceed with my life, I finally decided to go back to school. I have always enjoyed learning and taking on a new challenge. I felt compelled to learn sign language and so that's what I decided to do. After studying for a year, it became necessary for me to return to work and disappointingly, I put my studies on hold. I was saddened because I felt like I had such potential at a career within the deaf community. My instructor once suggested that I work as an advocate for the deaf. At the point that I went back to work, I had finished half of my necessary classes to get my degree in American Sign Language. I currently hold a certificate of skills for my accomplishments.

The irony is that the same job that ended so quickly before, is right where I am back working today. Being employed in law enforcement has given me the opportunity to see people at their worst and at the same time see heroes at work responding positively to bad situations. Because I work overnight, I am able to participate in the kids school activities and local community events and that has made me think often of volunteering in some way to do advocacy work. I'm good at standing up for those that can fend for themselves. I've always felt like there would be a 'special' child in my life. Now here's the epiphany: I am suppose to adopt a special needs child! The picture is clearly in focus. The sign language is a bonus to assist in care and communication with such a child.

I know that there are people that would question me. I can already hear them, "Why a special needs child?" and "Do you think you are ready for something like this?" or "How do your children feel about this?" I realize this isn't a decision to be taken lightly and I know it's not a short process. I get the fact that it doesn't only affect me. I understand that it will change our lives forever and that there will be setbacks and disappointments, but on the other side of that I'm banking on that blessings that cannot be measured. When babies are born to birth parents, it's life changing, it is demanding, and sometimes disappointing, but always worth it!

I recall a conversation many years ago with my little boy asking for a brother to play with. Due to medical procedures our family hasn't been able to have more children since days after the birth of our youngest. I remember telling my son that if he wanted a brother that he would have to pray and ask God for a miracle, continuing to explain that God would have to find a special way to give our family another little boy. Well kid, you just might get what you've asked for!

Bad Apples

Just the other day I was feeling so completely weighed down. It seems that everything around me is being negatively affected. I see people that have been stricken by misfortune and tradgedy, others by illness, and some experiencing life changing events that affect others. It has really opened my eyes to see that no matter what you hear, say, see, or do, it has an affect on someone else. Some things are positive, but it's the negative things that leave a lasting impression on someone. It really is true that one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch; but I feel like it doesn't have to! If you see the bad apple, and you know it's going to affect the others, do something to stop it. You could take the bad apple away and toss it, but first, check closely to see if part of it still isn't salvagable. You could leave the bad apple and remove the rest so that they don't become contaminated. That's what elementary minds do. You know what I'm talking about. The idea that "You've got cooties" so everyone avoids you! I'm of the frame of mind that you should save the bad apple, carve away the part that isn't good and then all the apples can bake together and they sure make one tasty apple pie! Isn't that what God does to us? As christians, we are to be in the world but not of it. Some christians would have the "bad apples" plucked out, and other christians would avoid the "bad apples", but I think that both of those solutions are not quite what God had in mind. He wants us to figure out how to make apple pie by trimming away the bad parts of all the apples.

How Much are you willing to Pay?

I don't even know where to start. I have so much on my mind, so much going on in my circle of life. A few months ago, we moved into a place of our own. At first it felt a little strange. It was a welcomed change, I mean, I was super excited to finally have room to stretch out a little. At this point, as the new bills are starting to show up in the mailbox, reality is beginning to sink in. Good things don't happen without a price. That thought really gets the ball rolling for so much more. The more you want something, the more you must be willing to pay for it, but when and how do you know that the price in which you are paying for whatever it is that you want is really worth the cost. I'm not talking about material things necessarily, but it surely applies to that as well. Time truly is a price that once gone cannot be regained. Children are only small for a season, and then they grow up and get opinions of their own, some of which you wonder where they ever came from, but you celebrate the joys as often as you can. The joy in which you receive is directly related to the amount of suffering you endure, again relating to the price you pay. The harder the trials, the richer the blessings feel. I'm reminded of the scripture, to whom much is given, of him shall much be required. That means for every positive there is a negative, for every bonus, there is a deficit, and for life's joys there comes sacrifice. To those people that feel they have been dealt an incredibly crappy life, I say to you,"You haven't been paying attention to the blessings in which you've been dealt." Maybe our miseries truly are just mercies in disguise.

Back in the 50's Again!

My daily photo challenge has really been a challenge! I have been so busy outside my normal routine that I haven't taken the time to focus much on it. This picture is from our recent VBS (vacation bible school) at church. Our theme this year was a road trip. We focused on learning what our destination was and how the places we visited in our imagination compared to valuable lessons we learn from God's word. This 50's diner was our 'roadside cafe'. The first night, the kids visited Washington D.C. while learning about the original journey to the King (the wisemen's visit to see the newborn King). The kids learned that they could choose to worship. The second night, the kids traveled to Chicago, IL, while they learned about 10 lepers of which only one was thankful. On the third night, we went to Lebanon, KS. I know, you're thinking "Why Lebanon, Kansas, and where is that?" Not to worry my friend, I had the exact same reaction. But like the kids, I learned that Lebanon is in the most central part of the continental U.S. and that tied to our bible lesson about salvation and making God the center of our lives! We had 2 children saved that night. The fourth night, we traveled to Yellowstone National Park, and discovered that we could believe, that we didn't have to be a doubting Thomas! The kids also learned that Yellowstone is a stinky place because of all the sulphur, and that sin stinks that same way. We had two additional kids saved this night. On our last day, the kids traveled to Knottsberry Farm and learned a lesson in obedience. Just like we have to follow the rules there, we must follow God's rule thru His word! We ended our week on Independence Day with a ceremony, songs, issuing certificates and even a little 4th of July meal complete with watermelon. We had one more child saved on Sunday.

I Spy

Here is my little shutterbug in training...that's a might hefty cera for a beginner...but there's nothing like jumping in with both feet...I'm just glad she kept her feet firmly planted...she was next to the creek after all...I'm glad that she shares my passion for photos...who knows...she may have her own blog one day...allbeit not anytime soon

A New Perspective

This is a picture of Bear Lake in Rocky Mountain National Park taken just before dusk. Sadly, it wasn't until our third visit that I saw this awesome sight. Each time prior to this visit, I hadn't taken the opportunity to finish the trail all the way around the lake. I was so awestruck by the beauty from the other angle that I hadn't considered that it could be as beautiful from any other perspective. It's funny, life does that to us sometimes. We become so conditioned to the way things are that change is uncomfortable. We often don't want to stretch out of our comfort zones, to the realm of the unknown, for fear of whatever may happen. The thing is, if we just trust in the growing pains, they won't let us down. It truly does depend on how you perceive it, the glass can be half empty or it can be half full. When you see it as only a lump of coal, stop for a minute and ask yourself, "Is it possible that I'm missing something better?" Indeed you will find out that you are missing the diamond that lies within that coal.

Triplicate

As a scrapbooker, one of the elements of page design is to break the page into thirds. I can't help but notice how our Heavenly Father has the patent on design. I don't know why I'm surprised by this, after all, He is the creator of the universe. It's not like any ideas that I come up with are really mine.

I am often amazed at some of the art I have made. How much more amazing must our Savior, our Creator, marvel at His creations. Sometimes, after I've worked a while on a project, I get discouraged when it doesn't turn out the way I wanted it to. That makes me ponder about how we sometimes disappoint our Maker when we disobey him or blatantly choose to do things our way. When we don't yeild to the will of The Creative Genious, God, we don't live up to the potential He has gifted us with.

Nature - Flowers & Celtic Music

This is my first attempt at a picture movie! I hope you like it! Leave me a comment and let me know!

BLUEBONNETS - A TEXAS THING

Here in Texas we are blessed with beautiful wildflowers on the roadside during the spring. In case you weren't aware, bluebonnets are our state flower, they are protected. We teach our children that you can't pick them, but you are always welcome to strike a pose among them!

Perfection

I couldn't even really tell you where he obtained this shirt, but it kinda strikes me as a little humorous. I am always trying to educate him on etiquette and teach him how to be sophisticated when the need arises, but he is country to the core! This shirt is a good balance between his country roots and the class I'm trying to instill in him. Somehow, I think it's sinking in!

A BRUSH WITH FAME

We had a retired professional champion bull rider come and give his testimony at church. He was a pure delight to listen to. I've never really been interested in bull riding particularly, but I really enjoyed his life story. He was very entertaining. As you can see, my little doll took her chance to be photographed with fame!

Bouncing Around

I have been so busy over the past few days that I haven't had time to update my daily challenge. The thing is, it's a busy season for me. I'm going to keep trying to post as often as I get the opportunity. This photo was actually taken in Feb. but it so represents how I feel, bouncing from one event to another, barely stopping for a moments rest. I lost an entire 24 hours (2 days) without sleep this past week because I had been so busy. I am hoping that this isn't going to be becoming a habit.

Shattered Lives

This picture is from the mock crash scene at the Shattered Lives Program. I picked this photo because you can't really see the victims, but with the Grim Reaper lurking around, you get a pretty good indication of what has happened here. Take careful notice of all the beer cans that have fallen out of the car. This was a historical happening here in our little town. This was the first ever Shattered Lives Program to be hosted. Hats off to everyone involved...You helped make it the success it was!

Still budding after almost 12 years!

This photo is clearly a rosebud! What you may need help seeing is the message it holds for me. I look at this and I think about the fresh picked flowers that Gary brought me out of the blue just yesterday. I am so blessed to have a man in my life that never grows tired of keeping the flame kindled between us. Over and over I hear women complain that after a while, the romance grows cold, that their men just don't treat them the way they once did, that they feel like a trophy on the shelf collecting dust. The key is to find the balance, you don't want them to work so hard for you that they give up, but you don't want to give in to easily either. Saying "I do" doesn't mean that it's over, it means the best is yet to come. Just like this rosebud, it's a process that takes time to blossom!

I'm only a few days into Project 365, but I seem to be having difficulty keeping up already. Today's photo is from opening day. Sister had her first game today! Her team, the Owls, did fabulous today. At one point they were ahead of the other team....and that's saying something, considering the other team was hand-picked by a coach that new who all the all-stars were from the previous season. The girls on our team have little experience playing . I'm so proud of the way they played today! The really were winners in my book (and here, that's the only one that counts!)

Looks Can be Deceiving

Take a close look, do you see the spider lurking under the edge of the flower petal. I am reminded of what a great protector I have in my husband. He has been blessed with the gift of discernment, and he is always having to keep me from getting myself in a mess, and rescue me when I do! I often go head first into a project, and that can be a good thing, but sometimes I don't always see the dangers lurking ahead.

A Place for Me

Okay, so technically this photos wasn't taken today, but it's the one I want to use, and since this is my blog, I can do that! Interesting enough, it's not what's in this photo that speaks to me, but rather what's missing. It's me, I am what's missing.

kindred spirit

Today's photo is of my baby girl. She is 8 years old now, and it seems like only yesterday that I was bringing her home from the hospital. But that's not what this picture is about. This photo is about her expression. This is one of those times that a picture is worth 1,000 words. The trouble with that is that it takes someone to see those words. For me, this picture is one that I feel I commonly make. I often feel misunderstood by those around me, but baby girl 'gets me' when no one else does....and I look at this picture, and I 'get her'.

aromatherapy

Today's picture makes me think of memories that are triggered by smell. You know what I'm

talking about....like how moth balls remind you of your grandma's house, and sweaty shorts remind you of High School Gym class. These days, a certain fragrance reminds me of certain people. I'll never smell Old Spice without thinking of my dad and Brut makes me think of my brothers. When I smell Obession, I am reminded of Captain York with the Texas State Guard. Pumpkin pies always remind me of baking with momma. One smell I will never forget is that of my children when they were babies....mothers never forget the smell of baby formula.